Thursday Post 310

 Good afternoon! Firstly, today I've been hard @ work plodding 2215 steps and secondly, TWFT topic's 'Press Through And Touch Jesus' but thirdly and way most imp[ortantly, I'm really still owed ONE HOUR and NINETTEN MINUTES online tonight after book club!!. Anyways, events for today?

• Woo hoo, 11TH consecutive awesome sleep last night! Nature didn't call until 6:50am and after one pot :P trip, I spent the ten minutes till 7:00am beginning a mostly silent chat to Percy the saint/angel, asking him please to help me with the patience, perseverance, strength and endurance I need to get through today with, giving PIG mum all the pleasure, all the satisfaction and just suffering for her whenever she decided that only she can be happy and/or satisfied. It doesn't sound very fair, but she's taught me through her actions, if not through her words, that it's enough she's happy and/or satisfied, and I guess whenever that happens, I've just got to grit my teeth and endure. >< *sigh*
• Nature called again one hour later; after another pot :P trip I counted how long before Tina arrived. Turns out she came five minutes late today, but she offered me fifteen more minutes, to which I just gave her the thumbs up, because Shirley's waiting for some sunlight to sit out in. Actually, Tina came back thirty seconds too early, but I just told her "thirty more seconds" and she wisely left. Phew, because I didn't have a teddy with me to bear bum her with! XD
• When Tina came back the second time, I used the pot :P for one more tinkle and then gave Tina step-by-step instructions on how to get me kitted.
• That done, I headed over to the bathroom and brushed teeth. Thanks to Tina who squirted me some toothpaste; Ela enjoyed her first official break.
• Teeth brushed, I headed out to the gobbling :P table for breakfast, which was one avocado toastie with a sprinkling of salt (finally I tasted some salt! XD PIG mum sprinkles so little I like can't taste any! XD), one full mug of water, all my usual drugs :P and another mug of Milo. Over breakfast, I spent another ten minutes continuing my mostly silent chat to Percy the saint/angel, asking him please to help me get through today okay. I find it's exceedingly important to constantly remind the cruel and unfaithful God that He has no bearing  on  my good day whatsoever, that I am perfectly capable of having a good day without Him, despite Him and apart from Him, because my good day's dependent on my own good attitude. If only God would remember that ... *sigh* He created the phrase 'live and let live', so why the heck can't He lemme live the free, independent life that I deserve? Okay, fair enough, we all only deserve death because of Him, but why can't He just lemme live the life that nearly everyone else gets to live?? *sigh*
• Breakfast finished, I head over to the bathroom and do a stinky unspeakable. Pity Tina wouldn't put down the toilet seat for me, but hey. I also leant fully against the side rail and spent some time  inishing my mostly silent chat to Percy the saint/angel. Remember, however the cruel and unfaithful God tries to make my day bad for me, I won't let that affect me because my good day has NOTHING to do with Him; I'm perfectly capable of having a good day without Him, despite Him and apart from Him. See, my good day's dependent on my own good attitude!
• That done, I climbed into Tina's car, buckled my seatbelt and waited for her to close and lock everything. I'd already asked her to do that while I was in the loo; dunno what she was doing while I was over the loo? XD
• Finally, Tina was ready and tootled me off to Sunnybank Hills Shoppingtown. She uses her GPS for that, and it takes us some back way? I've never noticed the route; I'm too happy playing with my smartphone. XD
• Thankfully, unlike PIG mum, Tina willingly tried the level two side parking; I didn't even ask her to and she nailed it with the second attempt!
• After one loo trip, I grabbed Orson Scott Card's and Aaron Johnstone's The Swarm and happily read that for just over one hour, reaching pg. 100 @ 10:33am and finishing pg. 111 @ 10:56am.
• When Tina came back, I asked where she'd gone? She'd taken longer than one hour to come back. Turns out she'd somehow dropped the shopping list PIG mum wrote for her and had to use her mobile to refind everything? Aww, poor Tina really isn't the smartest tool in the shed. XD Never mind, after reading for one hour I posted my weekly update onto Facebook and awaited Tina's return~
• After Tina got back, I used the loo for one more tinkle and then we began our shopping!
• First, we headed into the Reject Shop; Murphy's Law states that the two items we were after were @ the very *back* of the store. *sigh*
• Next, we caught two escalators upstairs, grabbed a trolley and bought groceries from Coles.
• After catching the lift back down to level two, I held the trolley and backed against the wall while Tina ducked into New York Baguette and bought me one sausage bun and one coconut custard bun.
• Our last stop was Woolies, and I bumped into Caitlin! I saw her when Tina and I were headed to the very back of the very last aisle; when I called her name Caitlin turned, saw me and raised a hand in greeting but since Era was hanging on for dear life, 'was left for Ela to give her a Nazi salute/wave. Bumped into Caitlin afterwards when heading for the self-serve checkouts and we chatted while Tina scanned the items and paid for me.
• Fingers crossed I can bbl, coz I'm really still owed ONE HOUR online!!
  Cheers,
  Em. ^^
• 
  

monday post

heylo again :P take this as a kinda P.S. of my monday post tonight:
heylo!
i've finally decided that i should start praying back to god. it's a long story:
when i was in hospital, god would send me some awful dream like every night about how he'd taken my parents away, and how i would be ALONE FOREVER. i'd wake up terrified, and before i opened my eyes, the first thing i'd do would be to clap a hand over my eyes and pray to god, "dear god, i'm so acared, i feel so alone, please please PLEASE, when i open my eyes, let my partents still be here for me. what do you want me to do? sing louder? pray harder? read the bible for longer? i'll do ANYTHING, lord, please just let my parents still be here for me." but every time i opened my eyes, i'd be all alone. and i'd just be simply devestated and cry myself silently back to sleep, only to be sent another horrible nightmare from god gloating about how i was once again, and forever would be, all alone.
anyways, when i was finally released from hospital on 23rd may, 2008, i was so grateful. i prayed to god, "dear god, thank-you so much for getting me out of the hospital. i promise i'll try as hard as i can to learn how to walk, i want to make it back to HK at the end of the year to make my grandma's 90th bday. " but give a week or so, by the end of may, my anger began to set in. i mean, what did i do to god that pissed him off so much that he almost murdered me with a brain tumour? in my anger, i again stopped praying to god and once again started praying to percy the angel/saint. only when my mother told me tartly, "you can't pray to a deceased person, emily, you can only talk to them," i started 'talking' to percy instead. a typical prayer/chat to him would go sth like this:"dear percy the angel/saint, my only prayer for you is that you're in HEAVEN not hell, even though i know the really SCARY fact that if one long lonely night, when you were in a hospital bed all by yourself, and your mum wasn't with you, your dad wan't with you, your older bro wasn't with you and even yopur adopted father wasn't with you, and if all the other patients were too busy sleeping to talk to you, and all the nurses and doctors were too busy looking after other patient to look after you, and you felt so alone and so scared, and if you lost your faith in god for one single fraction of a millisecond - even if you would have regained it in the next fraction of a NANOSECOND, if you realised how stupid and foolish it would be to lose your faith in god when you were so sick, but too late. if god chose to be some complete and utter BASTARD and snatch you to him in that same millisecond when you lost your faith in him, you'd be in HELL right now. which is why i'm going to choose to believe that you remained true to god all the way till the very end; i'm going to choose to believe that one night, after you kissed your mum goodnight and goodbye,after you kissed your dad goodnight and goodbye, after you kissed your older brother goodnight and goodbye, and after you kissed your adopted father goodnight and goodbye, you prayed to god before you went to sleep, and once you were sleeping, god came to you in a dream and demanded, "come to me, percy. it's time." and you could only answer, "yes lord, i have no choice but to obey." and after looking out with love towards your beloved family one last time, you went peacefully up to heaven with god. i just hope, percy, how you should've RAGED at god when you got up there. " HOW, god, WHY?" i hope you SCREAMED at him, "i thought you LOVED me! what kind of father who CLAIMS to love his son MURDERS him?!" then i'd just pray/chat to him about other things, like, thanking him for looking after my family today, and please looking after us toms. i'd also pray/talk about my family in HK, etc.
anyways, i asked myself at 3 months, 6 months, and 9 months if i was ready to pray back to god, and each time, my answer was no. but a whole year has passed now, and i think that's long enough. to be honest, i still don't have enough faith to just pray to god, but i'll settle for directing my prayer to both god and percy the angel/saint. i'll try this till the end of the year, anyhow.
well, that's the long and short of it. i admit, i do still sing a hateful song to god every night, but i'll try to ditch that by the end of the year. goodnite.
cheers,
em. ^^