Sunday, April 4, 2010

sunday post4

whenever i had to walk, i'd type that PIG mum gleefully FORCED :( me to. when she banned me from using all capitals, i used Forced until she somehow decided that the entire word offended her sensibilities, and banned it altogether. so i switched to the word contort, only it wasn't long before PIG mum decided that even this word somehow offended her and banned it also, saying that henceforth, i was only allowed to use the word made. anyways, i complied and used MADE. did it really surprise me when PIG mum stepped in and demanded that it had to be ALL in lowercase? so i complied again, only now i typed that PIG mum 'gleefully' made me walk. that was until charlsy left me a comment on this blog, saying that henceforth, i was only allowed to use made without any words before or after it. dunno really know why i listen to him, afterall, it's MY blog, but i guess i do coz i have heaps and heaps of respect for him as a friend. and, regarding last night:
1.PIG mum made(PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><)me walk from the computer desk to the kitchen benchtop to drink my nightly half cuppa of milk. *sigh* i've said before, how in the past she just used to bring me my milk, in her eagerness to boot me off to bed, but now it seems that she somehow derives FAR GREATER PLEASURE at being able to force her poor daughter to walk more. ah well, i'll survive. ACTUALLY, SHE NOW ALSO GLEEFULLY FORCES POOR ELA TO HANG ONTO THE CARTON BEFORE ORDERING ERA TO OPEN THE MILK CARTON 'CORRECTLY'.
2. after saying goodnight to dearest dad, PIG mum made (PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><)me walk to the bathroom for my nightly routine.
3.poor em was forced to stand to brush her teeth, and PIG mum also forced my poor left hand to do the three after-brush rinses with my right hand. i forgot to add, same with the kitchen benchtop, it is somehow a HUGE UNFORGIVEABLE SIN if you were to lean against the basin and rest your aching self.
4. after flossing and washing both hands, PIG mum made (PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><) me walk over to dry them.
5. PIG mum made (PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><) me walk over to the toilet.
6. PIG mum forced me to dak myself for a tinkle or two.
7. when i stood back up, PIG mum forced me to pull my own trousers back up.
8. PIG mum made (PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><) me walk over and bend awkwardly to flush the loo. i reached over to wash and dry my right hand.
9. PIG mum made (PLEASE! GO NOW! to the top of today's post to see what i REALLY want to write, but have sadly been TOO HEAVILY CENSORED by PIG mum. ><) me walk back to bed. remember, i'm not allowed to hobble/stagger/limp in and grasp the handrail that was installed up there FOR THAT SPECIFIC PURPOSE, because PIG mum has recently discovered that it somehow, again, gives her FAR GREATER PLEASURE to force her poor daughter to walk to the middle of the bed, turn around and bend awkwardly to finally sigh with relief that she has, indeed, endured through another day.
10. no pull-up pants. >< no teds, either. argh. i thought that maybe i could wear them once a week, every friday, just like how it gives PIG mum that much pleasure to restrict poor em to a truly miniscule bowl of icecream once a week, but apparently not. tough luck, em. ><
-finally, if i don't mention any of this till next thursday, it just means that it's ALL the same as what i typed out today, okay? no difference. ><
-actually, my mother has for some reason decided that she’s censoring the usual line I place after the word ‘made’. So, whenever you come across the word ‘made’ in my post, please note that I am SCREAMING for you to PLEASE! GO NOW! TO THE TOP OF TODAY’S (SUNDAY’S) POST TO SEE WHAT I REALLY WANT TO WRITE, BUT HAVE SADLY BEEN TOO HEAVILY CENSORED BY PIG MUM. :(

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